The End of An Era
We are witnessing the makings of the miraculous.
I wonder if it is that I am scared of my purpose or if I lack the motivation to do the work, that it has taken me so long to write this final letter. A year ago, I knew that I was setting out on a journey towards bridging faith and mental health. What I did not know was that this journey was actually the journey toward self. Learning my own twists and turns, my vulnerabilities, my flaws, was where I learned that faith is the act of doing the work on yourself and in the world with the eternal knowing that you will see the kingdom. That’s what began this letter; the faith that I get the CHANCE to keep moving and doing a little bit more every day toward something that I’ve been called to do. This is what I pray you learn for yourself, too.
The myth of motivation…
There was this inspiring quote I used to carry on my daily planner from 2014; to sum it up, discipline facilitates the consistent habits of greatness while motivation stokes the fleeting desire for success (read: motivation doesn’t last… discipline does). I am learning that to get to the mountain top or at the very least, the next section of the vision board, you need both the habits and the desire to achieve purpose. Sometimes, we do all the planning and all the sharing of our plans. We get so excited about our next big business venture or research project or even that next house project that we’re caught up in the feeling, and it’s been months with no movement. On the contrary, we all know what it feels like to be in a rut. You may have started, focused and full, but because you’ve lost connection to the physical reaction of what it feels like to do what you love, you feel stuck. In order to create, you must maintain your heart and your hustle.
The myth of not being good enough…
No matter how many people have more education than you, no matter how many videos and InstaStories you look at where you imagine myself in their place and speaking your truth, no matter how much money or engagements or businesses or friend trips you see, nothing can get in the way of what is for you. I am learning that what is yours will never miss you. I am learning that who you are without doing anything at all, just unconditionally being yourself – you are worth it and worthy. While the hustle is important, you’re doing the very best you can. Up until right now, you fought and WON the whole time. Everything that came for your life, that tested your faith, that brought you to your knees, YOU DEFEATED.
This past year, I dared to step into my calling: I used my talent for teaching and healing through workshops, consulting, and therapy (and got paid the whole way); through making new friends and putting boundaries up with old ones; through collaborating with poets and families and parents to producing faith-based mental health content; through traveling domestically and internationally; and through studying the word of God. This year, I have a mile-long list of my next steps towards the vision of my life, and through vulnerability and actual work, it is my hope to share the journey in public as we grow this platform in some very real structural ways this year (coming soon!). But for now, I will end this letter and this leg of the journey through monthly mindful messages and letters from a therapist here. It has been my esteemed privilege to write to you, dear reader, and to write to myself this year. These were never just words; this is my truth, AND we’ve been able to “amen” in the corner together. So many of you have read these articles and shared them with friends and loved ones. Even in this short time, we really have built our tribe, and I am humbled to keep growing with you in 2020. As I revision for the year, I shall keep ya’ll prayed up and with love always on my lips for you. Be back with good news soon.
Amen and With Love,