If you are anywhere within the vicinity of my age and older, you have firsthand experience with how unsettling adulthood can sometimes be. When we were children, there was a plan; someone else was calling the shots whether we liked it or not, and there was a much clearer path towards the succession of your life. “Go to church. Stay out of trouble. Be kind to others. Get good grades so that you can go to college. Go to college. Get a good job.” Those were the instructions and pretty much the extent of them as well. Right now, I am living in a place where I need my next set of instructions (read: THERE AIN’T NONE!), which means that I am quite literally in uncharted territory. All of the dreams I have in my heart for bringing large scale mental health reform to the South, for developing a network and brand in Chicago, for building wealth and spiritual and physical health for little Black children who will follow in my legacy, are all quite literally dreams. As I reflect on 2019 and revision for a new decade, every dream and every piece of the purpose that I seek and that God has set forth for me to fulfill for the healing of His children, will require my healing first.

We all have our pain. We all have those parts of our lives that we would prefer stay in the shadows, and most importantly, we all have dreams for ourselves and our families. These are our stories, and in order to conquer the uncharted territory and continue on the journeys that include pursuing prosperity for ourselves and those important to us, we mustn’t fear the stretching and pain of our lives nor skip the healing of knowing fully the lessons.

Among the many stories told within the Gospels of the New Testament, Simon Peter’s is particularly remarkable as I think of his impact on the church. Peter was a mountain of a man, fearless and decisive (see Matthew 14: 38 – 33) as well as steadfast and sometimes headstrong (see John 13: 5 – 10). More importantly, Peter was especially chosen by God to lead and “strengthen his brother” (Luke 22:32). But, there was a gap in between who Peter was and what God had given him to do, so Jesus, being the good Savior that He is, not only prepared Peter but strengthened him by telling him his story in advance a few verses before He gave him His vision (read: I imagine Jesus saying, “Oh Peter! I got an app for that!).

“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers. But he said to Him, “Lord, with you I am ready to go both to prison and death!” And He said, “I say to you, Peter, the rooster will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know me.” - Luke 22: 31 – 34

Can you imagine Peter’s dismay at the story that had already been written about him? How do you reconcile when who you are and what you desire doesn’t align with what you’ve been through? If you know anything about the bible, you already know Peter’s story came to pass. In that small courtyard outside of the palace, Peter’s life changed forever when he denied Jesus, but that’s not where his story ends. Aren’t you thankful for a risen Savior, whose strength is made perfect in our weakness, that that’s not where your story ends either? Don’t miss your shout!

In John 21, after Jesus has beaten death and risen from the grave, Peter has a literal “come to Jesus” moment where Jesus helps Peter understand his transformation and where He, too, gives us a blueprint for understanding the journey of our dreams.

“So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” He said to Him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.
He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.” (vv. 15-17)

Though on the surface it may seem like Jesus is simply asking Peter if he loves Him, Jesus’ use of the word love is referring to that God love, that unconditional, self-sacrificing love, that love that puts the needs of the other above the needs of their own, the love that put a father’s only son on the cross for our redemption. In this exchange, Peter’s use of the word love was never the same as Jesus’; Peter had learned that while he could not be the same fearless leader and lover as our Savior, Peter’s love and affection for his fellow man would be sufficient, that his humbling had been sufficient, and that he was ready to do the work of his life.

It’s difficult to confront our shadows. It’s difficult to do the work on our heart when you have done so much work already to just survive life. It’s also difficult to purge the pieces of you that have helped you succeed in other places that are not only holding you back from reaching your dreams in this new place, but that are holding you back from even seeing them clearly. But the truth is, the dreams won’t be as big as they could be without shining the light of the Savior’s righteousness down deep into the darkest parts of ourselves. Jesus has promised us that if we do our work, He has already strengthened us for His good and for serving others through our healing. Now, how about THAT for some adulting?

How to Win at Adulting